In case you haven't heard, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. TODAY, before you do anything else, go to the website for Army of Women and register to support the mission to fight breast cancer. I am happy to support Dr. Susan Love who is up to great stuff with finding a cure for the problem. I love my breasts! I can say that with pride today. That wasn't always the case though. I can honestly say I hated my breasts for many years.I hated them. And I have come full circle. I love them now. When I was fat, they were huge and saggy. I did not get the perky breasts that my other sisters got. I got the saggy ones, and I was pissed off about that.
Later, when I released my excess weight, (100 lbs. at age 25), I had smaller and saggier breasts. Along with the weight, I lost the elasticity in my breasts. I used to make my breasts the villains -- wrong for being saggy, wrong for not being perfect. Ten years ago I went to a doctor due to an abnormal mammogram. With a history of cancer in my family, that is nothing to take lightly. Courageously, I opened myself up to this doctor for her support and her strength regarding my health, instead she took that opportunity to say that I was a "great candidate" for breast implants. She may as well have said, "Laura, your breasts are an embarrassment to society."
While those were not her words, that was definitely her message. I remember leaving her office in shock, crying. It took me a long time to see that my reaction was normal. Doctors have a challenging job, but they are not taught compassion and love in med school. I have done a lot of healing around the thoughtlessness of this doctor, and am gifted to actually laugh about her words now. As I write this, I feel guided to send her this post so she might realize that the impact of her words is not necessarily only skin deep.
I know now that this doctor was a catalyst for me to come to peace with my gorgeous breasts. Her criticism put me in touch with my own disapproval and self hatred of that part of my body. In forgiving her, I was able to forgive myself. So this doctor was an angel in disguise. That is how I came full circle. Having two healthy breasts is a privilege! Today I can say I love my beautiful saggy breasts. Every time I see that cartoon with the woman with saggy breasts (Sylvia), I laugh and say, someone's got to have them and I love mine. I love my breasts and thank them everyday for being healthy.
The area I live in, Marin County, has one of the highest rates of breast cancer in California and in the country. I often see women in the grocery stores and at the gym with kerchiefs covering their heads and I silently say a prayer, blessing them with love and praying for health and restoration to them. In an instant it puts any old remnants of my old saggy breast conversation into perspective. To those of us who have had a life long history of healthy breasts, stay grateful. To those of you women reading this who are suffering or have suffered from breast cancer, I hold you in love and pray for total health and peace and restoration to you and your body. Breasts represent nurturing and nourishment. I want you to nurture and nourish your health mentally, physically and spiritually. You need it, your sisters need it, your daughters need it and mother earth needs it. Here is my October wish for you: That you can stand proud and naked in front of yourself in the mirror and shout out, I am perfect just the way I am and my breasts are beautiful exactly as they are. To your health and beauty.
Anything is Possible
Laura Fenamore, Body Image Mastery Mentor
http://www.LauraFenamore.comLaura@LauraFenamore.com415-464-1234
